woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
