You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
