If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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