Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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