I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
