How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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