I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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