I wish I could teleport
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
