You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
