if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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