I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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