hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
