i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
