the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
