Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
