so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
