You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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