The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
