So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
