U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize