Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
