your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And then he peed in my hair
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
