break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
