so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
