Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
