69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
