My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
