just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
