One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
