Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
