You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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