found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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