if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
