Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
