They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
