clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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