Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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