I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
