I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
