And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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