ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
