I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
