I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Drake has all the answers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
