I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
