Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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