i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
