i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
