So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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