So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How's work?
Spinning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
