Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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