i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize