dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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