dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
