He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
