you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize