Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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