Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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