covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
