He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
