I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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