All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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