Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
